A totally normal, run-of-the-mill night as a grad student

I just wanted to document exactly what's happening right now. This is a snapshot into the life of a grad student. (Okay, maybe not your average grad student, but MY life as a grad student).

It's 10pm. I'm sitting in the blanket fort I made eating Cadbury mini eggs out of a fannypack (why are there eggs in a fannypack? Fannypacks have zippers and can therefore be closed, while Cadbury egg bags are not closable without a chip clip, which I didn't readily have. I DID readily have a fannypack. The solution was logical). There is a half-written lab report I'm working on, but it's minimized and the main window is open to a Buzzfeed quiz in which I'm finding out which John Hughes movie I should watch based on my zodiac sign (Breakfast Club, hell yeah). Another window features an article called "Did Beyonce Get Upstaged by Hamburger Helper?" which has a GREAT mixtape all about... you guessed it: Hamburger Helper.

I had one of those moments where you suddenly look at yourself objectively and realize how truly WEIRD the scene is. What the heck am I doing? Gotta write this lab report. Gotta get more than an hour of sleep. Gotta survive grad school.

Check it out, I'm seriously jamming: https://soundcloud.com/hamburgerhelper/sets/watch-the-stove

HALF MARATHON!

4:45am wake up. Wore my running clothes as pajamas, so all I have to do is cram some peanut butter in my mouth, grab the parking pass I printed yesterday, and get the heck on the road.

Paul Simon's Graceland sings me to Denver. Twice through the whole album. For some reason, I start tearing up, maybe from nerves, maybe from stress, maybe it's just the 5am dark and the way I sound so ridiculous babbling along at the top of my lungs to the African parts I don't know the words to. 

But then I'm here, at the butt crack of dawn, earlier than I should be, earlier than the vendors, earlier than the registration tent. It's quiet and cold and I wonder again why I'm doing this. I could be snug in my bed, not putting physical stress on my body, not pushing myself to the brink of absolute exhaustion. And yet, here I am, about to do just that.

12 weeks ago, I sat at the front desk in the clinic, setting goals for 2016. Some of them are wild, some of them easily attainable. I signed up for the Three Creeks half marathon then, planned out my training program. Did I stick to that training program? Ummm, no. 5-6 runs per week turned into 1 or 2 and despite the fact that I worked myself up to 11 miles during those 12 weeks, I still consider anything over 3 miles a feat of seeming impossibility. 

The gun goes off and everyone jumbles into pace. It feels like hundreds of people pass me in the first mile. Maybe it literally is hundreds of people, I really have no sense of numbers. Before I know it, 5k has passed and I feel the first threads of "I'm tired I'm tired" in my legs. I distract myself with people-watching. There's a dude in American flag shorts and huge purple socks I'm using as a pace-keeper. His partner waits at 3 mile intervals to kiss and cheer him on. There's a beautiful black woman with the most enormous hair I've ever seen. She has a booty I could only dream of. These two are my running partners, but they don't know it.

At 6 miles, I'm offered a little shot of goo. Blackberry, or something. I take it and it tastes like flavored snot. I hate it. I take another blub and decide it's not so bad. I take another when I'm handed one. I feel the effects of the sugar-snot hit my body like a wave and at 7 miles, I think I can maybe probably finish. 

At 11 miles, I realize that every step I take is a new record, a new furthest-distance-I've-ever-run. I take stock of my body: slightly sunburnt (should've put on sunscreen), pretty dehydrated (forgot my damn running belt), feet sort of aching (but no blisters, HALLELUJAH). Now more than ever, it feels like a reality: I'm going to make it.

I've lost track of my running buddies somewhere around 11 or 12. They both decided to break the run-walk-repeat pattern we had going and just walk. I secretly cheer at the small victory of pulling ahead of the people I'd been cross-crossing with the whole race. Crossing the finish line feels good. Like, 12-weeks-of-hard-training-felt-worth-it good. 

I found myself wondering yesterday whether fulfilling my half marathon goal would feel like an accomplishment. I put so much pressure on myself with the expectation that I'm going to feel amazing after reaching a goal, and then I'm disappointed when it doesn't feel like as big of an accomplishment as I expected. But this feels pretty big. This feels like the appropriate amount of big for the amount of work I put in. I'm glad to have done it and proud of myself for finishing... I might sign up for another one. :)

Half Marathon Training

Way back in January, I was sitting in Gunter's audiology clinic dreaming of crossing the finish line of a half marathon and proceeded to sign up right then and there for a half in April. After I'd spent the $65 bucks, I looked at the training schedule and realized I may have made a mistake. That was a LOT of miles and a LOT of money for something I might not be able to physically even do. And here I am now, crippled after a 10 mile run yesterday, but confident that I can crawl those last 3 miles to the finish line come April.

Half marathon training is not pretty. Running in general is not pretty. At this very moment, I have:

• A couple blisters on my feet that make me want to throw my sneakers away
• One bum knee from too much running on hard pavement
• Scabby bits on my inner thighs from last week when I ran in spandex shorts and my legs chafed and bled
• A distinct armband tan from when I forgot to put sunscreen on

The training schedule I set for myself involved 5 runs per week, gradually building up to a half marathon in April. Welp... 5 runs a week turned out to be WAY WAY WAY ambitious because grad school's still a thing and honestly, who in their right mind wants to spend that much time running, anyway?! So I fell off that wagon, but managed to sort of cling on to the back of it with a loose grip that threatened to give out at any moment. And by that, I mean I stuck to one or two runs per week. 

Overall, I look a bit of a mess, but how I feel is another story. Just kidding, it's a similar story; I still feel like a mess. Most runs feel like I'm dying, there's a lot of interspersed walking, and I usually need to extrinsically reward myself as motivation to actually go out and do it (helloooo DQ Blizzard).

BUT-- I'm pretty darn proud of myself for setting a goal and actually making it happen. And there's been an incredible difference since I struggled through my first several 2-3 mile training runs in January. I can now comfortably run upwards of 4 miles without stopping or losing my breath. I changed my running posture to help my knees. Those are HUUUGE changes and I gotta make sure I stop to appreciate how far I've come, rather than looking at my scraped up body and feeling discouraged.

Half marathon, here I come.

Costa Rica, Day 3-- kayaking, chocolate, and waterfalls

Woke up to the sound of rain. Warm rain. No complaints. Scarfed a snickers (breakfast of champions, need the calories for these long active days) and then hit the REAL breakfast-- rice and beans; fresh papaya and pineapple; and some funky sausagey thang. Then we went out kayaking on the second largest lake in Costa Rica, around the Arenal volcano. Obviously, every kayak got flipped and it was a grand ol' Costa Rica time floating around in the water with soaking wet clothes and sore paddling arms.

Then we went and toured a chocolate plantation to learn how chocolate is made. Again, like the coffee plantation yesterday, I had NO idea so much went into it. We got to see every step the cacao beans go through, from growing, fermentation, roasting, winnowing, etc. the final product was a bowl of melted chocolate. Hhhhhh. The highlight was eating spoonful after spoonful of freshly made chocolate and mixing in all sorts of things-- sea salt, cumin, chilies, sprinkles, cardamom, raisins, EVERYTHING. So good. Will I ever be able to eat a Hershey's bar ever again?!?!???! (Lez be honest, the answer is yes, but I'll know what I'm missing).

Hit another waterfall this afternoon (500+ stairs to get to it. Helloooo, quads) and am currently lounging at some hot springs. I have no idea where we are, but it's Costa Rica-y and I'm content. 

Haven't checked my email (okay, maybe once) and haven't even LOOKED at my capstone (nope, not even once). Much needed vacation. 

Costa Rica day 2

Coffee plantation tour.

 Had NO idea so much went into coffee production. Pickers wear these huge bins around their waists called cajuelas, holding 28 lbs of berries. 75% of the fruit is cast off and used for compost, while 25% are the actual beans inside the berries. When they're picked, they look like little red cherries. When the outside is peeled off, there's a slimy, sugary coating and a shell. They're sorted by quality and then sit fermenting for a few days. Then roasted. The premium coffee beans are roasted out on these huge patios and turned every 45 minutes for several days, while the lower quality is roasted in an oven for less time. 

Most coffee plants produce berries that contain 2 coffee beans, but there's a genetic mutation that caused only a single bean in each berry. It produces a kind of coffee called peaberry and its sweeter and a bit smoother than regular coffee. It's not exported, only available in Costa Rica. I will DEFINITELY be taking some home with me. 

The first part of lunch was tripe soup, which is cow stomach with vegetables. Slightly icky texture, but I DID IT. Then rice and beans and papaya juice.

(Here's where I start getting tired and lazy with the blogging....) Hiked up Paos volcano, 9,000 ft, to Laguna Botos. Gorgeous. Saw a cute little guy, maybe a coati?

Humongo waterfall. HUMONGO. La Paz.

Wine tasting on the side of the road at a tiny kiosk. Delicious strawberries, passion fruit, eggnog (lol?).

Dragonfruit icecream stop across the street from an area known for ENORMOUS iguanas. Several feet long, bright orange, roosting in the trees. 

So exhausted. Must sleep. 6 hours until tomorrow's activities a start...

Day 1: San Jose, Costa Rica

Costa Rica day 1! Departed from Burlington, VT in blustery, freezy conditions, and so showed up in Costa Rica wearing wool socks, a down jacket, and a warm beanie. Boy, was that interesting. After stripping off any and all possible layers and making it through the airport frenzy, Eliza and I found each other and we boarded a bus to our hotel. 

Low key night over here. Went out to a touristy overpriced restaurant ($19 for rice and veggies? Huh.) for dinner and hunkered down for an early bedtime. We're POOPED. Long day tomorrow-- coffee plantation tour, hiking a volcano, and hot springs maybe?? 

Feels weeeeird and surreal to be out of the country. I missed this feeling of being surrounded by different languages and a culture so different from my own. And the people watching is INCREDIBLE. I've only been in San Jose for a few hours, but I like it. 

Here's the only picture I've taken so far:

Bye, Toluca! :(

I'm flying back to Denver today. So sad to be leaving Mexico. The Starkey mission will continue here until next Wednesday and I so wish I could stick around and keep helping. This experience was AMAZING. Everyone at home was saying "this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you have to take it!" So I did. But I don't think it's going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity, I think I'll be doing this (or something similar) many more times in my lifetime. this has opened my eyes to how so few people can make such an enormous impact in a short amount of time. I was involved in 4 days of fittings and collectively, with about 15 fitting stations, we helped over 2,000 people. INCREDIBLE. Tani tried to put it in perspective-- at home, by the time I've woken up, eaten breakfast, and gotten to class, the Starkey team has already fit a couple hundred patients that day somewhere in the world. Think about that. I know I will be.

How does one go back to Colorado and the mundanity of studying in grad school after something like this? I just want to up and GO.