The cross-country road trip is well underway! 1500 miles in two days ain't half bad. Thought I'd take a sec to let y'all in on some Chris Demars Road-Tripping Tips.
1) Mustard is key. You can put it on anything and it's instantly delicious. Cabbage, bologna, crackers, etc.
2) Keep your pants clean by wiping your cheeto-powdered hands on your socks. No one will know.
3) Keep a paper towel tucked in your visor for unexpected spills or for the intermittent crying jags.
4) The google maps iPhone app is not to be trusted. Our ol' interstate road atlas (published in 1989) gets the job done.
5) $35/night hotel rooms are "vintage" and "usually not full of bed bugs."
6) If taking your bike along, there's no need to spend money on a bike rack. Just spend a few hours macgyvering one from garden hose and U-bolts. Continue adjusting at every gas station stop to ensure security.
7) If you put cruise control on, it frees up your feet to stick 'em out the window!
8) No need to stop at restaurants. Maybe a diner for dinner, but breakfast and lunch are road trip snacks-- gherkin pickles, bologna sandwiches, mixed nuts, chocolate chips. Repeat.
9) The best road beverage is raspberry Snapple. Two days in and he's 9 Snapples deep. Water? What's that?
10) Make sure the Jonas Brother's cover of Poor Unfortunate Souls from the Little Mermaid is loaded onto your iPod. "It's catchy!"
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