Wednesday, August 20, 2014

How To Keep Yourself Sane With No Friends In A New City

  1. Get out of the apartment.
  2. If it's sometimes too hard to leave the apartment, at least do something productive. Spend time decorating. Spend time eating Mexiglop on the floor. Spend time complaining about the internet out loud to yourself.
  3. People watch. Try to copy that cool girl's hair style. Try to compliment said girl on her hair style, but chicken out at the last minute. 
  4. Take yourself on a tour de coffee shops. It's okay to spend money on gallons of coffee because it's research.
  5. Drive to Target for necessities (just kidding, cute baubles) and "explore the city." (i.e. get lost and cry and reassure yourself that you'll figure out how to get home from Target eventually)
  6. Determine the best midweek day to watch Star Wars nerds play Irish music and take shots of Jamison. (Tuesday).
  7. Locate the nearest yoga studio. Locate the next nearest yoga studio because the closest one is bikram and fuck that. Think about going.
  8. Wander the isles of the local JoAnn Fabrics and Michaels because it's familiar and there are craft supplies you might need someday in the future.
  9. Bicycle around town because you can check out a bunch more junk up close without having to pay for parking.
  10. Find one of the many freshman orientation groups and follow them around until they lead you to free food.
These are my highly useful and beautifully honed techniques for keeping yourself occupied in a new city. Use them as you will. 

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